meli_mollifies | [Filter: Erato & Helenus]

You are mortal, now, too. Emotions are not always a mortal problem. I am learning to enjoy mortal things. Like sunlight and warmth and laughing and films and feeling. Things that the ghosts taught me, that they made me want to experience. You became angry with me when I told you that I was not aware of your capability of feeling or holding attraction. That is an emotion, and yet your logic is only you denying to yourself that you could ever feel, even though you do.

You can either enjoy your time here to the best of your ability or continue feeling as though you amount to nothing to no one else. Try laughing or smiling or caring about something. The world will look a lot different to you.

Death is only one small part of life. The rest of it is yours to shape. Do with it what you will, Phonos. I fear by the time you realize it, it will be too late.

I feel frustrated when things are not logical; that is all.

I do not desire to laugh, smile, or care. What is the purpose?

Death is life. I do not perform slaughter, Melinoe. I am Slaughter. Murder, Killing. It is everything. I am the spirits of its will. I may be mortal now, but my purpose has not changed.

The purpose of those things is to make an otherwise dull, repetitive life without much meaning worth living.

Your purpose has not changed. Neither has mine, but I get far less sleep.

You live this life we were thrown into the way you want, Phonos. I suspect the one thing any of us could do to frustrate Khaos and Gaia more is to be happy. There is that, if nothing else. There isn't anything I could ever say or do will change your mind about how you view yourself. Is that not the answer you've been wanting to hear?

Edited 2011-03-19 07:59 (UTC)

I desire to hear something that makes sense to me, because thus far, nothing has.

In this world, not everything does. It is up to us as individuals to figure out just what it means. There are several things I am still attempting to understand about everything I thought I knew. It all does not have to make sense right away, and not all of it ever will. Some things come gradually, and other things are understood when we least expect them to be.

I am sorry I am of no help. I've only managed to make things more difficult for you. At least, that is what it feels like.

What would you have me do, if I were to assume (incorrectly) that your perceptions are correct?

What you decide to do is what's best for you. That is a decision I cannot make because it is your heart and head that have to choose.

I thought I had. You insist that I am wrong.

I am only trying to prove to you that you can be happy, if you want it, and that sometimes not everything is logical. Like... my mother and Hades. They are so different, and there isn't a thing logical about what they have, but still--it's there.

And that you are more than what you think you are.

There is no need to solve this right now. Take some time and think about it. If you decide in some days that you are content as you are now, then that is what will be.

No matter what you choose to do, Phonos, I still consider you an ally and a friend.

How can I be happy?

Write some things down for yourself that have pleased you, even if only in the slightest. That is a start, and it grows from the little things. When it happens, you will understand.

You must be joking.

I said it was a start, not the solution.

How will writing down those things which make me ~~uncomfortable~~ "pleasant" lead toward happiness?

You will start to recognize the things that please you, which hopefully will lead to your being open to experiencing more things that could make you happy. They do not have to be overly grand things.

Small starts grow and blossom if they are nurtured. You need to begin believing that you deserve to be happy. You've enough melancholy. It could stand to be evened out, even just a little.

These things take time, so if you do decide to go forward with something like this, try not to become discouraged, though we all do at times. The important thing to remember is that you must take the good with the bad. The balance between the two is always crucial, for how would we know how to appreciate the wonderful things that happen to us if nothing bad ever happened?

I do not want good and bad. I want to be without emotion.

Then you will have much more frustration trying to subdue your emotions as a mortal instead of embracing them and attempting to understand them. Even Hades has emotions, and when he grows frustrated, we who care for him are almost always shut out. And that includes Mama. There are plenty of reasons she is referred to as The Iron Queen, and her tolerance of his frustrations and stoicism and making him understand that emotions do not have to be handicaps is one of those reasons. Yet, she does have emotions and is compassionate and loving of those she cares for and will lay down the law when it is necessary.

I only offer suggestions in the hopes that you will at least think about them. I cannot make you see what you do not. You know that I converse with the dead, yet you cannot see it. You do not accuse me of being a liar because you do not see. This... is similar to the fact that I do see some wonderful qualities in you, and yet, you do not see them for yourself. And you tell me I do not see truth.

Sometimes one must make do with with the situations they are given and make the most out of them.

Do you fear that you, as Murder, as Slaughter and Death will be hindered in your duties if you embrace such things?

Edited 2011-03-19 22:01 (UTC)

Are you like your mother?

You observe, of Death, what I cannot. I believe you because it is illogical to assume deceit when lacking evidence. I have evidence of myself. You cannot know me as well as I know what I need.

I am making the most of my situation. I am Murder; I fear nothing.

Am I? In some ways, yes. We both love our family and the friends that we have and both try to find ways to make rhetoric not be so literal to Hades. We both grow frustrated. We laugh, we cry. We fear certain things. I, unfortunately, have less of a grasp on keeping my anger in check and perhaps that stems from Zeus, I do not know. It is something I am working on fixing.

You are correct. You know yourself better than anyone else would.

You are Murder, yes. But you fear your mortal self and what comes with being as such, not your entity.

You are wrong.

Alright. I will not pursue this matter further with you. You have made up your mind, stood your ground, and I respect that.

I will see you at work, Phonos.